My first writing is to acknowledge a great man who was, and will always be, a Guru to me.
Mr Robb Whitewood.
What is a Guru?
A Guru is a manifestation of God Consciousness on the earth plane, and is a creator who gives you the vision to realize your potential. He is also a person who sustains you, and who guides you toward reaching a state of perfection, and a destroyer of ignorance (your negative karma).
A Guru symbolizes moral values, spirituality, and wisdom. This is something that comes from deep within. A Guru is a medium through which you can approach truth. The supreme reality, and is a teacher, who can help you identify the blockages that impede the realization of your goals. An influential teacher.
A Guru has the sense of knowing what creates your world within, which affects your life externally.
When looking to learn from someone, you will see something beautiful in them, and you will just want to learn from them. Then he or she will become your teacher. The person should not come and say, “Hey, I am your teacher, learn from me!” No genuine teacher will ever say that. If asked the question, “Are you my teacher?” they would say, “Well, I don’t know. You should know that. If you are learning something from me, maybe I am your teacher. If you are not learning anything, then I am not your teacher.”
As we move into the learning of the new consciousness, this is something to look for in a teacher. They will inspire you to move forward, clearing your past, and creating an exciting future.
Robb taught me that we are all masters and teachers. We are all here to serve and help each other. I have been honoured to have learnt from a GRAND MASTER & GURU – Mr Robb Whitewood. THANK YOU!
By Chris LukeInner Mind Works
It easy to say to an expert – follow your own advice and as NLP practitioners, we have the knowledge to deal with many different issues with our clients but how many of us can deal with our own issues? For example, I have a record of high success in my weight loss patients but I’m still overweight myself. I’ve been asked my clients, Why can’t I do myself?
There is a sophistication to NLP which, delivered at speed, can seemingly blow out compulsions, change behaviour and alter processing patterns. However and thankfully, on the face of it, we are all human with foibles, fears and issues we choose not to address or to ignore. NLP works exceptionally well when there is an operator and a subject. By the time NLP Master Trainer level is attained, one is expected to be able to teach oneself using the subtleties of NLP training. Until then – it’s perfectly respectable to have to use a peer for operator training.
So you’re not an NLP Master Trainer yet – does that mean you have to use an external operator for change management? Of course not – but there is a degree of honesty that must be attained in order to face the demons within. I am a NLP Master Trainer – do I fix everything myself? No. Why not? Because I am clearly comfortable with my supposed issues and perhaps they are not issues for me but issues for others….
Let’s be honest, when we maintain our issues – we are benefiting from them. There is always a point of secondary gain keeping us in place. If that is the case, working with an (NLP Master Practitioner) operator may make it easier to objectively pull out the secondary gain from the deep recesses of your denial.
Finally, I’m of the mind to ask to have issues or not to have issues? I vote for not having issues. I am clearly gaining from those behaviours that otherwise could be perceived as ‘issues’ and any gain has to be a bonus, doesn’t it? Do I have to heal myself? Do you have to heal yourself ? Only if you perceive yourself as being ill. For me – I’d rather think of life as a series of states of being – each state serving different important purposes. Do I need to fix myself? Only if my behaviour no longer serves me and then, it’s not an issue, it’s simply a non resourceful state ready to be changed.
Dr Jane NashPh.D, M.Ed B.Ed (Hons)
MONKEY MINDPsychotherapy & Clinical HypnotherapyMaster Trainer NLP, Master HypnotistForensic Investigative Hypnosis Trainer, EFT (Adv)
Getting over it all
I know, I know, build a bridge, get over it and all the other platitudes one hears when grieving a relationship. But there are those who cannot even think of a bridge let alone build or traverse one. That’s why my clinic began to offer the FALLING OUT OF LOVE program. Ultimately designed for those stranded on the shores of lost or unrequited love, it offers a weekly program whereby the lovelorn client engages with the sophistication of NLP, the gracefulness of NRT and the elegance of Franklin Psychotherapy for fast recovery. Of course, you and I know that we could probably do this all in one session and for some, that will be fine. However, for many of my clients, the rejection or loss has been so overwhelming for so long, many of them believe that it will take some time to let go. If one session is not going to cut it for them, then we end up agreeing on three or four sessions, a week apart, the interim time being spent by the client putting into practice the most excellent suggestions they have received.
The techniques are easy and I have shamelessly appropriated them from either the great BANDLER himself, Dr Paul McKenna or the resplendent Robb Whitewood, but techniques, I will always argue, are for all to grab.
In the first part of the program I teach the client how to stop feeling bad. Recognising that love is no more than a neuro-chemical event may seem harsh but it’s true and an excellent foundation for NLP intervention. Then it is essential that the client is actually ready to move on. I often ask about furniture, decor in the house, mutual belongings.. do any of these things carry significance with regard to the neuro-relationship the client is having with someone else? If so, when are they going to get rid of them, change them, redecorate etc? Of course, being able to recognise that habits are like old furniture, i.e. no matter how comfortable and familiar they are, they may not serve the current purpose and they can be replaced is also a useful belief. The final part of stage 1 is teaching them how to reframe. I often begin by getting them to reframe jam and bread or the rain or even something like a spider or snake (as long as they are not fearful or phobic - mind you, if they are, they leave the session with that under control for sure !).
SO what next? Well if the client is a one session person I immediately launch into NRT which inevitably does the trick, especially if the client is chomping at the bit for change, has an exceptionally well formed condition and I have the necessary leverage as the authority in this situation. HOWEVER, if that well formed condition looks like a gummy bear on acid, now is the time for the rest of the plan to take effect.
Working with submodalities and swish patterns has to be one of the most gratifying pieces of magic at one’s disposal and I love the look on a client’s face when all the shit seems to disappear into the ravages of past sleepless nights leaving only clean sheets and a well made bed to get into. So what am I swishing and submodality-ing about? Well it’s an interesting list, some of which I gleaned from some of Paul McKenna’s work..
Remembering the good memories - reverse vision and decrease
Remembering times they were treated badly - repeat play until sick of them
Move disgusting ex to disgusting thing (the more disgusting the better)
(Come on you can imagine some others)
Then future pacing happiness and freedom from this lost love angst.
My favourite has to be increasing someone’s unattractiveness to the client. Oh to watch the hopeless candle in the window be snuffed out and the LEDs switched on all over the house is a joy indeed.
Of course if the client is being seen weekly (by the way, this makes for a great online program), the time in-between sessions needs to be used by the client to make changes in their environment, take the old phone number out of contacts, block the ex from calling and such activities that are precursors to their personal freedom. Where avoidance is not possible, it is essential that you enable the client to disassociate from their ex. Robb Whitewood’s NRT can be used at any juncture and should be considered as both first and final line of defence.
The next session is usually a mixture of the usual with Franklian Psychotherapy combined with reaching an understanding of the following:
Now, at no point, and no matter how much you are tempted, should you tell the client to Build a Bridge or Get Over themselves. I really wouldn't recommend it. Not unless you have excellent rapport and you are a provocative therapist, but even then, I suggest there are plenty of better techniques which could be employed as an alternative to such harsh admonishment.
And the more you work with the client to ‘tidy up’ emotional strings left on the floor, the more you will inevitably find under the sofa. This is definitely when the Franklin Techniques of De-Reflection, Attitude Modulation and Paradoxical Intention come out to sweep under the furniture.
Then in the next session is a recap and final tidy session including NRT (remember to test your Dynamic Monkey methodology) before you open the door and watch your client skip away, happy and ready for their next adventure. Falling out of love is not just removing old love’s leftovers, but it’s also about arming clients with the right tools for future relationships of all kinds, not just the romantic ones. A sense of self worth and the ability to move away from pain, walk towards pleasure with the possibility and indeed probability for many to find love and laughter again are some of the new pieces of furniture my clients acquire. Me? Well, I wasn’t going to tell, but seeing as you asked…I used to be Scandinavian Minimalism but now I’m all Chesterfields and Libraries.
Of course you will be using more than just swish patterns and working with sub modalities but I’m hoping that reading this will inspire you to think about a similar program for your clients, using all your skills and many more techniques…remembering that this article is simply outlining the skeleton and it’s up to you and each client as how to flesh out the bones. Every body is unique. The upshot of it all is that your client should have built something akin to an Iron Bridge and be well over it by the time your sessions draw to a close.
Dr Jane Nash
Ph.D, M.Ed B.Ed (Hons)
Psychotherapy & Clinical Hypnotherapy
Forensic Hypnosis, EFT
Association for Applied Neuro Linguistic Programming (AANLP)